One of the most interesting things since arriving in China has been seeing the examples of simple etiquette differences talked about in our meetings before leaving materialize.

The first encounters began showing their faces just after arriving at our second hotel in Shanghai and meeting up with our Chinese partner Hong Kong Baptist University.

After unloading our bags from the taxis, our group of eight followed Professor Huang Yu of HKBU into the hotel’s restaurant where his students were having an early dinner.

It didn’t take long for the students from Hong Kong to realize that a group of westerners had entered the room.

A few of the students stood to greet us and, excited to meet the foreign students, I quickly walked to a couple of them giving them a good firm traditional United States handshake.

When I got to the fourth student and extended my hand it was obvious that she was a little surprised by the gesture but politely fumbled to move the napkin she was holding in her right hand to her left and shook my hand.

It didn’t occur to me until I had turned to walk back behind my group that I had been told in one our meetings before leaving that the Chinese rarely shake hands and when they do it’s a softer, less assertive handshake.

But, shrugging it off, I assumed that I would inevitably make mistakes like this from time to time.

I walked over and sat down with my fellow students and professors at one of the restaurant tables with Professor Huang who didn’t waste any time ordering beer, Coca-Cola, and orange juice for us to share.

After the drinks arrived at the table, I turned the lazy susan and filled my glass.

Looking across the table at Professor Huang, I watched him pick up a bottle of a Chinese beer, called Tsingtao, and, without asking if they’d like any, pour a glass for both of my professors and then himself.

Noticing that this seemed a little strange, I remembered in one of our small cultural info meetings that Dominic, our group’s communication studies major, had specifically told us that in China, it is a custom to serve those sitting next to you before serving yourself.

So after finishing my first glass and following Professor Huang’s lead, I reached for more, serving my fellow news major, Sarah, then myself, and set the bottle back on the lazy susan.

After finishing my second glass, Dominic, who is much more culturally wise than I, picks up a bottle of orange juice and fills the glass to his right.

When he turns to me and starts to pour me a glass, I quickly stop him, even after having served Sarah myself, impulsively saying “oh no, no thank you.”

Looking at Dom’s blank stare made me realize the mistake I had made even after seeing the Hong Kong professor set the example.

He was being polite by serving me, and in China it was impolite for me to refuse his gesture.

Professor Huang acted like he didn’t notice, and it’s likely that he really didn’t, but the next time around I made sure to wait until both of our glasses were empty to allow Dom to fill my glass, righting my wrong.