Archive for July, 2010
The (Kwint)-Essentials of Life
1During the six weeks we were in China (and the year leading up to it) there was a resource I used in order to learn quick little basic pieces of information about any culture I wanted. The website is called Kwintessential, and if we didn’t have it, we may or may not have committed social suicide.
One instance where it was pretty important to know some inside information was when all of us in the group went over to Thomas Yau’s home for dinner. We had never been to a Chinese home for dinner, so we weren’t sure what were the dos and don’ts (if any). After using my beloved resource, we learned there were specific suggestions to follow when going to someone’s home in Hong Kong, and not just China. Advice such as “do not give red or white flowers,” “Elaborate gift wrapping is important,” and “do not give clocks, as they are associated with death” were up and down the entire page. We took the advice and did a few of the dos on the list such as giving “imported spirits,” in our case a Californian wine. We also gave a bouquet of flowers with appropriate colors (purple and yellow) and appropriate quantities (8, a lucky number). I think we did a good job picking out the right stuff, but we will probably never know whether what we gave was “excellent” or “ehh.” When we gave the gifts to Mrs. Yau, she thanked us and then went to the back of her flat to put the gifts away, she never opened them. This is common in Asia because the gift giving is very important, but not the focus of the get together. Asian cultures like to receive gifts and then immediately put them away so they can focus on what’s important, their guests. Also, in case they do not like the gifts they where given, they do not want to have to try and fake as if they really like the gift (Socks?! Oh, you shouldn’t have. Really you shouldn’t have.).
As our trip was coming to an end, I no longer needed to find out the rules and etiquette of the culture we just spent six weeks in, we were about to enter another culture… our own. American culture doesn’t really seem like a culture to me, it just seems like reality. I’ve been living in its borders for 22 years, so I’m simply used to everything going on. Now that I have been away for awhile, I wondered what America will be like? Different? Same? I once again decided to use my trusty resource Kwintessential to find out the answer to a question I thought I would never ask; what are Americans like?
Everything I read seemed familiar, but in a weird way. Every piece of information such as “Americans are direct. They value logic and linear thinking” to “Handshakes are firm, brief, and confident” all made sense. While I was reading I kept saying to myself “yeah, I guess people do do that here.” It was like an out-of- body experience to take all the things I do and observe them as if it is something I am trying to learn. What’s even weirder is seeing it for the second-first-time.
Once we arrived in Detroit it seemed like the noisiest airport I had ever been to. Everybody is talking on their phones and running around in a frenzy. We saw lots of frenzies in China, but they were much quieter. A big reason for the noise is that Americans do not like silence. We typically like something interesting to do at all times. When it comes to social interaction, we are very friendly and informal. I saw this all the time. At one point, Suzy and I were talking to a couple on the way back from Portland about anything and everything. We had never met these people before and we probably won’t ever see them again, but we all felt like killing time with a little conversation. Even on the plane (after waiting for 20 years), everyone is talking to anyone sitting within speaking distance of them about how long we waited, why we waited, and what they could do to make sure we ever have to wait again. We didn’t solve any problems on that flight and we never got any answers, but the satisfaction of speaking to others about it was enough to relieve the stress.
Going away to a foreign country is an amazing experience and it teaches you a lot about how other people approach life. Using my resources and hands-on time with the people of China has opened a lot of new ideas to me. At the same time, going away from home has made me see home in a very different way. I no longer see people starting a random conversation as “space-invaders,” I see them as people wanting to kill some time and maybe create a little connection with a fellow human being. It has been quite a ride, and fortunately, it’s still going.
A New Home
2China is the oldest civilization known to man. Roughly 5,000 years old, the up-and-coming world power has everything that is new and everything that is ancient. Seeing the sites in China earlier this summer was easily one of the great privileges I have ever had. From the Great Wall to the World Expo, China has a lifetime of travel within its borders. But I have to say one of the greatest parts of traveling abroad is not what you learn about other countries, it is what you learn about your own. Being in China for six weeks gave me the opportunity to look into my own culture, from the outside, and discover some new perspectives.
There is a stereotype in the U.S. about Asians and there intellect. Apparently, they are all great at math and they are all prodigies at a musical instrument. There is also a belief in the U.S. about our educational system and how it is going down the tubes. There may be some truths to these, Asian societies highly value schooling and the U.S. could do a little more to strengthen schooling, nationwide. At the same time, I believe we have two different approaches to education. Asian societies seem to be more book smart; they study very hard and spend many hours making sure they get good grades. In the U.S., we seem to be leaning towards getting street smart. Have you ever noticed those “Immersion Projects” being promoted so much around campus? These put students in an environment where they get hands-on experience and create, instead of reading a book and taking a test. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather do that than take a test. Besides, some of the greatest minds of all time didn’t finish college (Johann Sebastian Bach, Bill Gates, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin). I’m not saying you should you drop out of school; just don’t freak out so much when you get a B+ on an English exam.
Speaking of English, we are pretty lucky when it comes to language in this country. For the most part, everyone speaks English. Yes, there is the occasional hotline call where we have to decide #1 for English or #2 for Spanish (it’s so hard isn’t it?), but other than that we have it pretty good. In Asia, there are large amounts of the English language in so many places. From train stops to grocery stores, being an English speaker in Asia is a lot easier than you would think. Asian school systems start teaching English in kindergarten (unlike the U.S. where we have a few mandatory semesters of foreign language), and while it is true that the English-speaking world is the most economically prosperous, that may change in the near future (so don’t get too comfortable). Get out there and learn a little bit about some other languages; it’ll let you into the other parts of the world that the English language can’t (which is a lot).
When I first arrived in China I couldn’t believe how much American food was here (and when I say food I don’t mean real food, I mean fast food). From McDonald’s to Burger King to KFC (which is the most popular of all), if you only eat American fast food, you would not starve in China. What’s extremely interesting is what possibilities might occur in the future as a result of the fast food boom in China. Asians, in general, are known for being at a good, healthy body weight (unlike the U.S. where there is the occasional Jaba the Hut strolling down a Wal-Mart aisle in a motorized cart). Unfortunately, Sumo Wrestlers might not just be athletes, but also office workers. Let’s hope they won’t ever have to deal with that problem (and we can get rid of ours).
I’ve seen a lot of differences during my time in China and it has helped me see the U.S. in a new way. There was so much to see and even after I saw it I couldn’t believe it existed. At the same time, the most important lesson I learned while overseas was this: all humans are exactly the same, but in a different way. At our core, we generally all want the same things: food, water, shelter, and companionship. What makes us different is how we fulfill these wants: rice versus bread, bottled water versus fresh water, small apartment in the city versus big house in the country. Before learning about other cultures and the way they operate, it all seemed so… well… foreign. But after seeing and learning what it is about, it makes perfect sense.
Exploring the planet is one of life’s great joys. The opportunity to see new ways of living has made me a fortunate person. It is funny how a foreign country can feel like an alien planet, but after awhile, it starts to feel like home.